The Fight to Live

Written By: Nancy Connolly

When I was younger I never felt like I fit in or that I was smart enough or pretty enough, I would look at people around me and I never felt like I measured up.  As I got older I started to feel more comfortable in my skin and I started to like myself and my life more and more. I was approaching my 50th birthday, which is a milestone, and I was trying to figure out how I would celebrate. I have never been comfortable being the center of attention but I was on a whole new me “New Nancy” mindset and I wanted to do something different than just my usual going out with my husband and son. I wanted something exciting and fun and I knew I had to start planning early. Then in September after a few months of various symptoms and misdiagnosis it was finally confirmed I had cancer.

I had surgery October 7th and 4 weeks after that I started chemo and radiation. I started off very optimistic and with a lot of positive thoughts but around the end it did get the better of me and I became a bit depressed.  It was not easy, some of the side effects got pretty bad for me. I know others have gone through much more than I did and I have so much sympathy and admiration for them because I know I would never wish what I went through on anyone else. I was lucky I did not lose my hair; I was blessed with a lot of hair like my mother so even though I had some hair loss it doesn’t show. I finished my treatments January 13th and suffered through some lingering side effects for about 3 weeks after before finally feeling like I was on my way back to normal.

I think because it was so recent it seems to define my life right now, everything I do or think is defined by this experience, cancer. Now I want to really enjoy my life, I’m still young and I have a lot of living to do. I have to get myself healthy again, I want to see my son graduate from college and get married and have kids. I want my husband and I to do our road trips to Vegas every year were we just talk all the way there and back and enjoy each other’s company and remember why we fell in love and are still very much in love. I have a second chance to live my life with passion, adventure, and love. I am blessed to be alive and I am not going to take that for granted. I will dance when I feel the music move me, I will sing out loud and off key and I will laugh until I cry. It’s like they say, tomorrow is never promised.

I saw this on a blog and I loved it I have made it my morning affirmation “You are brave. You are strong. You are fierce. You are a warrior. You are a fighter. You have the tools you need. You can do this. I believe in you.”